Project O – Article #115: Lisa O. – Texas, USA (Scheduled for 9 – 28 @ 16:00)

I wanted to share my Project O submission with my readers. Please take a minute and check it out!

Willing To Take Me Back

Yeah, you read that right. DT told me that he was willing to take me back. Of course he put conditions on this. I would have to give up all forms of social media and my friends. He would consider letting me still have lunch dates with Ginja, but it would only be a consideration.

How benevolent of him. HE will take ME back. Ironic since I don’t want him back, nor am I the offender in all of our craziness. He said that two people in a marriage have to rely solely on one another for every one of their mental, social, emotional, and physical needs for a relationship to work. Which I think is total bull crap. Not to mention we no longer have a marriage. I told him that I wasn’t interested in getting back together with him, to which he responded, “just think about it”.

Eradicating Drama

Sometimes all you can do is excise the ones who stir the pot. I had tried to maintain a friendly stance with DT’s family, but when drama rears her ugly head I knew I finally had to cut them out. Well, from my facebook page anyhow.

I didn’t want to be ‘mean’, as absurd as that sounds, by deleting his family members, yet when they act like sixth graders I have no choice. I added the husband of a good friend of mine on FB, DT’s mother tattled to DT that I had a new male friend who was from the same state I live in, has kids, and is a former marine. They obviously looked at his page. Had they of paid a bit more attention to my page they would have noticed his wife who has the same last name and kids in her FB picture.

An Occupied Mind

When I keep myself busy I have less time to worry, stress, and basically borrow all sorts of extra issues and baggage that I am too tired to carry around. My remedy is to dive head first into projects. Some fizzle out quickly, some are long term, some are completely meaningless to anyone but me, but they are mind occupiers.

I have been in this mode all week so far. It helps me from wandering down the yellow brick road of mental disaster, and I feel like I am getting something accomplished. This week I have been spending all my free time imputing data for IP on a new web adventure. Tons of data.. TONS. I am learning way more about South Florida than I ever thought humanly possible!

Getting Out of My Head

I find myself all too often getting wrapped up in my own head. I am focusing on the what if’s and taking on stupid guilt that I have no business hanging on to. The remedy is distance. Distance from DT, specifically.

I ignored his texts yesterday and it was so freeing. I have to drop the kids off at his house this afternoon. I will not be going into his house. I will not be talking with him outside. I have to have mental space, or else I tend to go down a depressed path. Not because I want to be with him. Not at all, but because I am an analyzer by nature, and to save my life I can’t figure him out.

My Kryptonite

Apparently my weakness is stuck garage doors, really hard lids on jars, and things that are up high out of reach.

I am able to accomplish these tasks, eventually. I got the garage door back down again, if you wiggle the motion sensors it apparently can finally trigger something to fix them. I can open jars, I may have to beat on them with a butter knife and grunt like a man while turning the lids, but they eventually succumb to my efforts. The stuff up high, well I just drag a chair over and climb on up.

I am thanking my lucky stars that this is my biggest battles today!

Mentally Freed

It was Tuesday afternoon when I told DT I didn’t feel comfortable with his “friend” hanging around the kids. It was that same evening he had her over while our daughter was there. He had the kids overnight last night again and once again she was there.

When I went and picked up the boys today I used his restroom. The message was pretty clear. This gal has staked her claim by leaving her hair stuff in his bathroom. Her coffee cups were left in his kitchen sink. Thankfully, I have never been in his bedroom, who knows what I would have seen in there.

It’s All About Perspective

I have never been one to fall into the ‘woe is me’ attitude or mindset much in life. Yet, over the course of this past half year almost (wow a half of a year!) I have found myself being so consumed by my situation that it is easier to wallow.

I feel like I am such a whiner to my friends. My drama takes up so much real estate in our conversations and goings on. I have to stop that. I have to realign my life so that my drama doesn’t overflow so much and spoil my wonderful friendships. I worry that eventually people will finally tell me to shut up and get over it, and I don’t want to push anyone to that point.

I realize that in the midst of all of my heartache, headache, and drama that I have so much to be thankful for.

Today’s Neighborhood Entertainment

Brought to you by DT and I fighting in the driveway this afternoon. He came to pick up our eldest for the night and when he got here I said I would like to have a word with him. He was acting quite put out by me anyhow, for no reason that I could identify. We walked outside and it started.

I told him that I was going to look for a new church since he felt compelled to bring his “friend” to the one I currently attend and I wasn’t comfortable with that. It would also make other people uncomfortable in the church. He said, in a snotty tone, that he will start going to a different church where his friend would be welcome. I, of course, told him that was a great idea.

A Sigh

I am not sure if I am sighing more out of exasperation or relief? Some days it is blatantly one or the other, today it is a little of both.

I have had a major point of stress in my life, which I had kind of put things on hold for, get delayed and shoved off for a while. While part of me is relieved at not having to face and deal with it right now, another part of me slightly dreads waiting longer for it to be over and through.

DT is still pulling his crazy stuff. I get sent daily texts from him in the mornings with bible verses, usually regarding how I should forgive him, although today’s was a bit of a change of pace and it was how I need to humble myself before God. Interesting. I ignored it, like I usually do. Not that I am ignoring God, but that I am ignoring DT.